I cannot recall much of my experiences before Mexico as I was young, so I think it would be best to start at the place I last remember clearly.

I was with my best friend and we had left Puerto Vallarta to visit a small village called Pizota on the south shore of the Bay of Banderas. I know we arrived around mid-day because I remember getting hungry. I wandered off to see the sites, see if I could meet new people, and probably score some food. Well, I lost track of time (as I usually do), and when I went to find my friend he was gone, split, left me here. What do I do now?

There I was in a small town in Mexico with no roads in or out, and the only means of transportation was by boat, and to where I had no idea. I was fluent in German, French, Italian and English, but the only Spanish I was certain of was "NO". I was very hungry and as night approached I had nowhere to sleep. Talk about night, there was no electricity there and all the sounds were very strange. All the local dogs were not very pleasant and had no desire to share their food. I have been told that I'm very intelligent so it did not take me long to pick up on the language.

In the next few days I was able to grab a little food here and there, but it soon became evident to me that the people did not much care for me, most saying I was the ugliest thing they've ever seen, and how did I get to their beautiful little town. It all came to head one morning as I was snoozing under an overturned boat. The owner saw me and I was placed in a large box, put in a boat and taken to another town, which I later learned was called Yelapa.

Yelapa is where my life eventually took a turn for the best. There were several weeks when I was either lost or had no idea where I was going, but the dog population was much more friendly and the people were amazing. I had no problem finding enough food to survive, and I found I could sleep anywhere and not be bothered. My being tired had passed, but I was not getting enough food to put on the weight I had lost in Pizota. A local Mexican named Chuy took me in for awhile. He lived way up river and it was nice that he gave me a home, but it was not what I needed, so it was time for me to find what I so desired.

I decided to take a hike to the beach and it was there that I met a gringa named Potzz. She and I fell for one another immediately, and that's when I found out how to pick up girls. I moved in with her that day, and she exchanged some money with Chuy to seal the deal. It was through Potzz that I learned all the gringos names, and we all became great friends. Potzz also taught me how to dance, and it was through her that I met my best friend of all, Allan.

A few days after meeting Allan, Potzz decided that I would be best with him, and I agreed. With Allan I could go where and whenever I wanted, and he taught me how to fish and paraglide. I have become somewhat of an instructor at paragliding, but do not like to go in the air. I cannot help barking out hints to the fliers, but they seem to have their own ideas.

I love dancing, so I go to most of the discos and always pick up a few chicks to go home with. I also like Mimi's on Friday nights, Pollo Bollo on Sunday, watching paragliders launch and land, escorting tourists to the waterfalls, and I really like hanging out at the beach to meet chicks, drink and snooze.

My Mexican experience started off all bad, but has turned into a new and exciting life for me. I'm very busy all day, what with my lessons, my guiding service showing tourists the Yelapa experience, visiting all my hang-outs and picking up the chicks. It's wonderful waking up with 3 or 4 new girls, getting breakfast in bed, and the constant attention. It may seem that I rest a lot, but wow, I need it!

So I live with Allan and our two cat-friends Constant n' Ople. Last year my companion Blossom passed on very suddenly. She and I went to the disco and the beach together. Sufi, Blossom and I were great friends and we miss her dearly. She was a great dancer, and if the shit hit the fan she was a perfect bodyguard, always willing to sacrifice herself for us. Sufi and I think of her often as we play on the beach, our eyes watching for bikinis.

I now wear a guestbook for all my friends to sign, and always look forward to renewing old friendships and meeting new arrivals to Yelapa.